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Nonverbal involvement
Look at your counterpart instead of studying people passing by. Show your attention by nodding your head or raising your eyebrows. Make sounds that indicate attentiveness. Remember that even by listening, we are communicating non-verbally.
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“We may believe that we are good listeners, but listening is more than waiting for your turn to interrupt.”
Connecting with others is an absolute need for human beings. Feeling as though we belong is a fundamental when it comes to personal wellbeing. It is simple connection and belonging increases our life satisfaction.
A way that we can contribute to someones wellbeing is through active listening.
Our beliefs, life experiences, opinions and perceptions are the glasses we wear to view the world through, it impacts everything and how we evaluate and receive information, active listening is being able to put our personal biases aside or ‘take the glasses off’ and be present and in the moment with the person in front of us.
The next couple of quick tips will dive deeper into six ways we can do this.
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If someone has had a bad experience with a professional or service this analogy is helpful.
It’s like a cup of coffee sometimes you buy them and they are great, the next time it is bad.
It depends on many factors to make a good coffee, the barista, the milk, the timing of the shot of coffee, the machine… the list goes on.
Professional help is similar in the way that there are many different clinicians, with different backgrounds, different approaches, different training, different experiences. It’s worth giving it another go - as there are many factors that go into creating a good client and professional relationship.
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Having thoughts of suicide can feel overwhelming.
A safety plan can be helpful during these times. It puts all your coping tools in a series of steps:
Recognising your warning signs
Making your surroundings safe
Reminders of reasons to live
Things that can make you feel strong
People and places to connect with
Family and friends you can talk or yarn with
Professional support
Research has shown having a safety plan can be useful for reducing the intensity of suicidal thoughts and increasing people’s ability to cope with them.
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Beyond Blue has created an incredible resource Beyond Now an app that can be downloaded to both iphones and android to work with someone with thoughts of suicide to create a safety plan.
It prompts all you need to be able to make sure you are not leaving someone without tools and resources to access if thoughts return.
Remember though, a safety plan is not enough linking to professional help for thoughts of suicide is vital.
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Sometimes when supporting someone with thoughts of suicide, it can be distressing and if you ever find yourself in a situation where you are unsure of what steps to take next, you can call a crisis line like Lifeline or Suicide Call Back Service to request advice on best next steps to take.
You do not have to feel like you are alone in your experience.
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One in Ten Dad’s will be diagnosed and struggled with perinatal depression and anxiety.
Perinatal depression and anxiety affect almost 100,000 expectant and new parents in Australia each year.
Dads’ roles have evolved in recent decades and some men can find this transition to parenthood challenging as they juggle all of the changes.
So keep on the look out for changes in the Dads around you, and check out The Gidget Foundation for more information on signs and symptoms to look for and how to access their incredible services!
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It sometimes takes time to find a professional, therapist, clinician that you or the person connect with!
Thats ok and very normal. In my experience when there is connection there is most progress.
Continue to encourage anyone you are supporting to find someone they connect with.
Given that most talk therapies it is recommended 16 - 20 sessions are required to get the most benefit its vital to find the right professional to ensure those sessions are attended!
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As a support person our role is not to fix, it is to help the person to put together the support scaffolding that they need to get back on the journey to wellbeing/recovery.
The person is not broken, so there is no need to fix! We can help them get curious about what challenges and symptoms are causing their wellbeing to decline and quality of life to be impacted and then find what help is needed!
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Sometimes we are not the best person to approach someone who appears to be struggling mentally.
Before having that conversation ask yourself “am I the best person, or is there someone else?”
It’s okay if there is someone else, speak with them about your concerns while ensuring you are maintaining confidentiality to see if they can approach and start that conversation.
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Signs are what we on the outside looking in notice about someone who’s mental health may be declining.
Things like fatigue, lack of self care, behavioural changes, withdrawing from others etc.
Symptoms is what the person who is having mental health problems is experiencing.
Things like negative self talk, emotions and feelings, lack of energy, trouble sleeping or sleeping too much etc.
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Its okay to be uncomfortable when having a mental health conversation.
In fact you could always just show that vulnerability.
“This is really hard for me to ask you…”
“I feel uncomfortable asking you this…”
BUT then you can follow it with something like this…
“I really care about you and I want to make sure you are okay”
“I want to check in to see if you are travelling okay at the moment”
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It can be tough to know how to start a mental health conversation.
Considering what you have seen, heard or observed that has made you concerned that someone may be struggling helps.
Then you can start your conversations with (I have provided some examples of how they can be used.
I have seen… that when you came to work today it looked like you had been crying, I just want to check in.
I have heard…that you are really beating yourself down with your self talk which isn’t like you, is something going on that you want to talk about?
I have observed…that you have stopped coming to the social club functions, I love getting to see you outside of work, are you ok?
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A hot tip when starting a conversation in an office setting is to put a few different seating options around the room, not just the standard chair opposite yours at the desk.
After inviting the person in, take a seat first then ask them to ‘take a seat where they feel comfortable’.
This will allow the person to sit where they feel safe a great start before a tough conversation.
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Mental health problems are common in Australia 1 in 5 people aged 16 - 85 will live with a mental illness in any given year.
This stat is good to remember when having conversations it allows people to know it IS common and they are not alone in their experience.
When having a conversation with someone, three things that you can say that can provide comfort are;
One. Mental health problems are real and common.
Two. You are not alone.
Three. There is help available.
With many barriers to help seeking if someone doesn’t want to seek professional help the best question to ask next is WHY.
Then you can work together to overcome what barriers they may have to seeking help and get them on the road to recovery quicker.